Reflection

"I would not tell you everything even if I could, for there are certain things which lose their fragrance in the open air; certain thoughts so intimate that they cannot be translated into earthly language without losing at once their deep and heavenly meaning." St. Therese of Lisieux The Story of a Soul, page 64.

The Little Flower is so right about so many things.

She is not talking about writing here; she is discussing her spirituality, her connection with God. However, this comment could easily be about writing, too. Many authors say that once they discuss their ideas out loud, for some reason the idea loses steam or disappears. I'm not simply talking about mentioning an idea or plot in a general way; I'm referring to the details of the creative piece being worked on.

It's important to remember to work it out on paper or screen before talking about it. That creation, that birth of words, needs to be held close in your heart or in your brain before you bluster it into the open air. It won't survive a premature exposition.

I took the name Therese as my confirmation name because I loved the idea of sending roses from heaven. There is a beautiful statue of this saint in Holy Trinity Church in Wilkes-Barre. My dad is still a parishoner there, and it is the church I grew up in. I know that many religious artists created to inspire faith in simple people...that's what the depictions in stained glass windows are all about. I must be one of those simple people in a way because St. Therese always inspires me. If you have not read The Story of a Soul, I would urge you to try it out. Then don't be surprised if you find roses in your life.

I have.

Agnes?

The flooding around the East Coast is just terrible. The speed at which the water rises from the streams and rivers in PA would astonish Superman.

All the inevitable comparisons to Agnes are warranted, but a bit annoying in that the devastation is not NEARLY as awful as that horrible flood of 1972. I guess my annoyance is mainly directed at my fellow Berks Countians who keep recounting "Well, Agnes made it to Fourth Street, and this water only made it to Third Street," or "Agnes came up to our front porch stoop, and the water here is only to the sidewalk."

Dear Ones, Agnes took away not only the WHOLE TOWN that I lived in, but all of WYOMING VALLEY. Those whose homes were not affected were affected in that they had no water, no electricity, had to take in relatives, had to help clean up the stinkin' mud, had to get shots to avoid illness spawned by the mud, had to live through much of the trauma. The poor people who became homeless or lost loved ones suffered all the more.

I don't think this even comes close, sorry. I know the situation was different here, so most Readingites don't have that sore spot on their psyche. I was 11 and 1/2 when my hometown was destroyed and that little girl will never forget the river pushing powerful water through its banks and the mountains of sandbags. That little girl will never forget the looters that came in waves almost like the floodwaters. That little girl will never forget the horror of caskets bobbing about in the flooded streets. That little girl will never forget the smell of the mud. That little girl will never forget taking in an estranged homeless grandfather.

I wish all those affected by the floodwaters the best. I am thankful that it was not the worst it could have been.

Lollipop Land

Some of my favorite stories are those made up by my dear Auntie Helen. She did everything in her power to amuse us when we were small. I remember all the love and treats she handed out. She left me with a fabulous legacy, and I think that some of my child-rearing tactics were learned from her. She sang and rubbed our backs, she shared a mix she made from Tang that she called "Russian Tea," she gave us pencils from the factory, and she gave us kisses and hugs.

She helped my grandparents with whatever they needed: watching the store, handling the fire and ambulance calls, caring for her sister-in-law's mother...whatever they needed, she helped. It was quite a convenience to have her live next door! I used to wish she lived next door to us.

I like to remember how everything in her house gleamed and her sunny smile. Her stories about Lollipop Land were the absolute best. She would make up a story, in a sing-song voice, about me and my brother and sister. Lollipop Land had a big tree where lollipops grew all the time. Our adventures there were always different and reflected what was actually happening in our lives. Lollipop Land adventures ALWAYS had happy endings.

Sometimes I feel her gentle hand on my shoulder and her soft voice in my ear, telling me to put that down now and go play with the children. I always heed that voice.

I miss you Auntie Helen. I know we'll meet again in Lollipop Land.

The Tooth Fairy

I have a six year old who obsesses over every loose tooth. My other children were not like this. A tooth came out and we put it under the pillow and the tooth fairy left a little something. That was the end of the story, except for the time the oldest lost her tooth during swimming lessons at the Ken Grill Pool. (The tooth fairy left something and told her she found the errant tooth in the pool.)

For the past two weeks, my tooth obsessor has bugged my dentist neighbor over one particular tooth. Once she found that my neighbor was a dentist, that was it. Every time she sees Mrs. Dentist, Emma alerts her to the wiggle capacity of that tooth. Mrs. Dentist has gone on her two week vacation, driven to the seashore with visions of that tooth.

Yesterday was Emma's six-month cleaning. She dutifully showed our super dentist her wiggily tooth. He jokingly asked her if she wanted him to pull it out. Emma told him that she WANTED him to pull it out right then and there. He was surprised, but thought correctly that this particular loose tooth was really bothering her. So, he did what dentists do. He gave her something to "put her tooth to sleep" and pulled it out. She brought it home in a surgical, hermetically sealed tooth envelope.

Emma now has her gold dollar coin and an empty spot upper right. The dentist told me there are three other loose ones. Oh dear.

Time Flies When You Have Fun

What were you doing ten years ago this morning? I was busy giving birth to my baby boy. I am amazed that he is ten already. Today he has swim practice and a meet, if the thunder holds off. He loves Star Wars and army men. Wrestling is his favorite participation sport and he wants to be a priest so that he won't have to get married. He's brilliant at science, according to his IOWA test scores, as well as reading maps. Jackie Chan is his favorite actor and he thinks snakes are the coolest creatures on this earth. He says his favorite girls besides his mom are his aunts, Marilyn and Helen. (That's cool because Helen is his real aunt and Marilyn is his godmother.) His favorite girl in heaven is his Nana. Right now, he tolerates his sisters, but would do anything for them, so I guess they are on his favorite girl list, too. He wants to learn how to play the acoustic guitar. He watches Britcoms with his mom...sometimes.

Best of all, he's a great hugger and he is always willing to try something new.

That's my wonderful boy.

One Banana Two Banana Three Banana Four

Saturday morning cartoons...do you remember the Banana Splits? What a hoot! These crazy guys enlivened many Saturday mornings for me. Along the same lines, I liked H.R. Pufnstuff too. And, who could forget Underdog?

It seems that my kids can have any cartoon they want any day of the week...heck, any HOUR of the week. It's cool that we can watch Tom and Jerry after supper. This is a minor reflection of American life today.

My perception is that with this change of freedom of cartoons of any hour comes at a price. My kids don't look forward to those delicious Saturday morning hours like I did. If the cartoons were only on during those hours, I bet I'd get to sleep in Saturday mornings, too. It's almost as if the general schedule, the general pace of life has blown up from the center or something.

Remember the blue laws? No stores were open on Sundays in Pennsylvania. None. No grocery stores or drug stores or gas stations or department stores would think of intruding on their employees day of rest. It was expected and it was polite. People planned their shopping for other days of the week, even those who worked different shifts. Now we have everything available 24/7 in some form. I cringe when I see folks working on holidays, especially Christmas and Easter...and Thanksgiving. This is freedom, though. Hmmmm...I wonder who is getting the freedom...certainly not those cashiers or retail sales clerks.

Doctors and nurses are on call...sickness doesn't take a break for holidays. (Do you remember when doctors made house calls?) Crime continues, too, so the police work long hours. As a professor, I usually can't take a vacation in September or October and that's okay. I love what I do and it comes with the territory. I hope others feel like that.

The schedule of our current cultural climate is everything all the time. I'm not sure I like that. I do like being able to choose when I can shop, but my freedom is imposing on somebody else's Sunday. I guess I like the cartoons available anytime, but that freedom is depriving my kids of learning that good things come to those who wait.

"H.R. Pufnstuff...ya can't get a little and ya can't get enough."

Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister

I have turned to one of my favorite authors for some summer reading, and have been delighted by the above book. It's a Cinderella story turned on its ear and the setting is wonderful to escape to on a hot day by the pool.

I haven't finished it yet, but I might even like it better than Wicked (gasp), although I love Elphaba more than any of the characters in this book. I guess that means it's a tie.

The setting is seventeenth century Holland. Wait a minute before you go yawning off into the sunset on me....Even though we deal with such an unusual milieu, I can relate to it from our time. That's part of the point...that relationships are relationships throughout history.

Anyway, give it a try.

*******

I got my new contacts this week. I CAN SEE! Yay!

Other updates:

The tomato plant is growing great! Darth Vader has escaped again. He has a five dollar bounty on his head. Tony Mickey turns ten on Monday. Emma and Tony are getting so much exercise from practicing from the swim team that it seems I can SEE them building muscle daily. It's amazing. Mr. and Mrs. Bagel are returning from their vacation today and all their fish are intact.

Please add Anthony's Aunt Agnes to your prayer list. She begins chemotherapy very soon. We have been saying the rosary in the car with a cassette tape from The Mary Foundation, available at www.catholicity.com for a $1.00 donation. For anybody filled with anxiety, it is a great stress buster. Try it.

Two Friends?

In today's Reading Eagle, there is an article by Knight Ridder Newspapers that points to a recent study about Americans and their friendships. It shocked me to discover that Americans say they have just two close friends. In 1985, Americans stated that they had three close friends. This question was added by a Duke University research team to the General Social Survey, conducted by the University of Chicago's National Opinion Research Center.

Maybe I'm just lucky that I have so many people around me that I consider a friend...a person who shares this journey with me. True, I don't talk to each of them every day or even every week, but they are THERE if I need them. I have a friend who lives in Shillington who would watch my back in any situation. She has my complete trust. I have two friends in Allentown who I've turned to many times over the years in many ways. I have two friends in Endwell who are my oldest close friends...more like family, who have helped me more than they'll ever know. I have two friends in/around Wilkes-Barre who would be anywhere in a New York minute if I needed them....and have been gracious about the lack of time I have to spend with them. I'd have to say that these people are my closest friends, the ones I could call in the middle of the night who wouldn't care what time it was.

I have other friends too that come to mind immediately. One is in Poland visiting his mother right now. I call him "my brother"... Another is a biomedical engineer with a heart of gold. Another is a friend from high school, another is from college.

Then there are the people from my kid's school, and the ones who go to my church, and the kind folks in my neighborhood.

I can't forget my relatives who care about what's going on in my heart, either. I know relatives have a bad reputation, but it's not true in many cases. My husband's relatives have also become my own. Many of them are very dear to me.

I am truly blessed. God must have known that I would need all these people to walk my path. He is wiser than all of us put together.

Shady Maple Surprises

Shady Maple is a great IGA associated market in Blue Ball...Lancaster County. Getting there is half the fun because all roads that lead to Shady Maple are picturesque. I also like to stop at a stand called Wayside Produce, run by an Amish family.

Anyway, after our shopping for the freshest meats and vegetables in PA, we noticed that an anniversary celebration was going on. A petting zoo had landed in the parking lot of Good's, a store right next to Shady Maple. Amazingly, huge stakes were pounded into the macadam to hold down some tents.

The great surprise is that the tents contained all kinds of animals, and admission was (gasp) free. Of course this called for a Calderoni expedition, so off we went. We saw a python, llamas, goats, sheep, emus, anteaters, kangaroos, a zebu, zebra, camels ( one and two humps), macaws, parrots, two big turtles, a big lizard and who knows what else!

Elena happily tried to hold a conversation with the macaws and parrots..and was successful.

Afterwards, we used the requisite hand sanitizers and read the posted note that stated that the animals were well cared for in Massachusetts. I have to say that they really did look good. Somebody loves them, which is not the case with some petting zoo exhibitions.

What a great excursion!

**********************

Emma and Tony have joined the swim team, and are adjusting to the rigorous requirements. I am very proud of them. This morning, Emma asked me if she couldn't go fast, would I still love her? Oh, my....We had our discussion then...no matter what, her mama will still love her. She was happy to hear that.
This activity really is helping with their sleeping and eating habits, too.

They are also requesting to visit our library real soon...wow...

***********************

Fish Update

There have been 0 attempted escapes from Mr. Bagel's fishtank. So far, so good.

TTFN

Tomato Plant Update

Tony's Tomato Plant is growing! It actually looks like a tomato plant again. I'll continue my updates. My only hope right now is that whatever ate it in the first place won't notice.

Darth Vader's Vacation

Darth Vader is a black hamster with a white spot on his chin, and he is usually sleeping in his cage right behind my desk chair as I type away here. He is unusually nimble and smart. He can climb up and into anything, and has figured out a way to get out of his cage a time or two, without any problems. Usually I catch him in the act, and his vacation plans are cancelled.

While we are away on vacation, Mrs. Bagle takes extremely good care of Eliot, Lucky and Darth Vader. She is a great pet sitter, and her son is Her Assistant. They both like animals and our pets are used to their visits. This vacation was a tiny bit different.

On Tuesday, Mrs. Bagle did her usual fine job of filling up bowls and water dispensers. Her Assistant hand-fed Lucky his raisins, which is his special job. After giving Darth Vader his hamster chow and a nudge or two, Mrs. Bagel closed the cage door. AHA! Darth Vader noticed that it was not completely latched, and bided his own sweet hamster time until Mrs. Bagel and Her Assistant exited the building. You would think that Darth Vader would be cautious because of a cat's presence, but like all of us, even that would not keep him from his adventure.

Like Elvis, he left the (hamster) building. He went on an adventure into the wash room and investigated Emma's toys. I heard rumours that he did the backstroke in the powder room toilet. He gorged himself on the peanut butter and sunflower seeds Mrs. Bagel left to try to lure him into his cage. Darth Vader visited the esteemed Area Behind The Washer And Dryer. And this was only the first day.

Mrs. Bagel was not happy. She worried that Emma would cry about the hamster like she did when her previous hamsters went to their great reward. She tried to catch Darth Vader for two days, after hearing his rumblings in the storage closet. Finally, she placed the emergency call that interrupted The DaVinci Code Movie.

While all humanity was fussing about his unplanned vacation, Darth Vader happily explored his world. Since he's nocturnal and Eliot sleeps all the time, his adventures avoided a grand mishap.

We returned on Saturday, and a sad Mrs. Bagel had already left on her own vacation. (We take care of Mr. Bagel's saltwater fishtank and their cat while they go on vacation. I am hoping that the fish don't have any excursions planned for us!) Saturday night, Tony set up the hamster watch network. He got his motion detector from the Spy Museum set up in the storage closet. We pulled some of the "stuff" out of the closet. Tony set up camp in the den and waited for Darth Vader.

The hamster appeared, setting off the alarm. With amazing speed, Tony ran to intercept the target. As he clasped his hands around him, Darth Vader took action to save his vacation. He bit him. That was the end of the clandestine operation for that night. We gave a report to Mrs. Bagel in Long Beach Island of the unsuccessful mission.

Sunday night we called in the experts. Elena and Eliot took their posts in the den and watched T.V. until 12:30. Around that time, Elena noticed that the Eliot alarm system was zeroing in on the target. She leaped into action and successfully nabbed the errant rodent. There was joy in Mudville!

Mrs. Bagel has been informed, and is now happily on her vacation.

The DaVinci Code Movie

Well, I did it. I vacillated upon if I should see this movie or not. The reviews were pretty bad, but having invested so much time into sharing the great plot of the book with my students and having fun pointing out the many inaccuracies, I felt almost obligated to view the film in a timely fashion. I promised Padre that we'd have to watch it when it came out on HBO, but guess what? There is NO WAY I am going to suffer through that miserable piece of filmaking again. I got a call on my cell during the movie, and answered it, which should give you an idea of how lame it was. (I've never done that before, BTW.)

First of all, Tom Hanks, who I think is a good actor, is NOT Robert Langdon. He tried his best, but it just didn't work for me. He appeared as if he were forcing himself into the role, like when I try to get into a too-small bathing suit.

Second of all, the movie bashed Christians/Roman Catholics even more than the book did! Why? Is that really necessary? I think here the director is pandering to the Academy...eewwwww.....

The special effects were kind of cool...even if they portrayed historical lies. I wonder if a documentary about how The Priory of Sion was basically a prank would get as much press. I doubt it.

The weaving of the story was so weak it fell apart. It worked much better in the book.

I would like to suggest that the people who made money from the book and the movie to donate some of the proceeds to the Catholic Charities working to aid the victims of Hurricane Katrina, or to toss some bucks into Bill Gates' work in Africa. Maybe then, when they get their assigned pew, Mary Magdalene won't lobby for a lesser seat for them. I don't think she would have appreciated the "fiction" that was created.

Ah, but I guess that's for a different entry, isn't it?

What a Week

We had quite a rough week this week...very emotional on many fronts.

I'll be shakin' the tree later. See you then and keep smiling.

Headin' Into Golden Summer

Tony is sooooo happy today. It is the last day of school. Mass starts at 9, and awards are handed out. School is dismissed at 11. He expects a Safety Patrol participation award...alright, Tony!!

That big smile today made up for all the grouchy Monday mornings all year.

Remember that feeling? Who can blame him for smiling?


WoooooHoooooo!!!!!

Eighth Grade Graduation

I'll admit a bias here that St. Ignatius Loyola School knows how to put on an impressive and moving graduation service. I have sat through way too many ineffective and poorly delivered speeches. There were none here. Each speaker was brief and moving...not easy to do. The graduates were lovely and handsome and appropriately attired. These young graduates were graceful, proud, sad and happy. The Mass was everything it was supposed to be, and more. Most of the graduates are moving on to Holy Name, while others will go to Wyomissing, Wilson, Conrad Weiser or elsewhere. All have a bond with each other that will be fondly remembered. This group truly loved and respected their teachers. The faculty was absolutely beaming. Most of the parents shed a few tears.

Elena wore a beautiful periwinkle blue dress with a sparkly design. She wore her pearl necklace and earrings from her godfathers. Her new haircut makes her look so much older, which is important to her. She got her diploma! YAY! She also won two awards...another safety patrol award...(this one from the school) and a surprise...she got the Citizenship Award from Senator Michael O'Pake for the second year in a row!!!! (Hear those buttons busting?)

The spiritual element was so evident during the graduation. Our church was dressed up for her Pentecost birthday, streamers from the crucifix in front to the pillars in the back...banners decorated with the gifts of the Holy Spirit...you get the magnificent picture. The music was well planned and performed, and moving as always. I am so blessed to be here in this parish with its people and its holy monsignor. I truly believe God brought me here because it's exactly what I need.

The reception was great, too...as always, the women of our parish know how to put out a beautiful and tasty spread. Pictures of all kinds were taken, thanks and congratulations were shared. We got home so late that little Tony was allowed to sleep an extra hour and arrive at school at 9 instead of at 8.

I suppose I could spend money on lots of things: a new or newer car, a Disney or European vacation, clothing, electronic gadgets, investments for the future. I'd rather spend my money on fabulous educations for my kids where they are spiritually guided to the right path; where they are truly loved and appreciated for the little wonders that they are...

Thank you, St. Ignatius Loyola School. God bless all the children who pass through its halls.

Kindergarten Graduation

Emma Rose is now an official graduate of St. Ignatius Loyola School Kindergarten. I sat on the bleachers with the parents and grandparents, and the kindergarteners sat on little blue school chairs. The entire faculty and Msgr. Treston were on hand to celebrate. The kids sang and had two individual parts each. Mr. John sang and made me cry and Mrs. L. was on the keyboard.

One of the highlights for me was when they stood in a circle holding hands and sang The Circle of Love. Each teacher was named during the song and entered the circle with the kids. The new principal joined in, along with our beloved monsignor. The best part is that when Msgr. joined the Circle of Love, he chose to join the circle right next to Emma Rose. Wow...we were pleased.

Emma Rose was excited to wear her "real pearls" from her godfathers. Her friend, Molly, was also wearing an add-a-pearl necklace, so they compared.

God bless the Kindergarten Class of 2006 all around the world.

The Bug

School is winding down for the kids. Everyone is a bit excited and a lot hyperactive.

This morning, we had a bug alert. Emma advised Tony that there was a bug on his uniform collar. Like most siblings, he didn't believe her. He came in the house where Elena confirmed Emma's report. He still didn't believe it. So, he came to his mom, who does not like bugs.

I didn't see a bug on his collar because by then, it had crept onto his neck. He felt it way before I saw it...and swatted the earwhig thing...right onto my leg. Of course, I screamed and hopped about, much to the satisfaction of the children.

The offending insect was terminated.

This is the start of my day? Don't bug me.

Learned Lessons

I must apologize beforehand. I don't mean to offend any of my family or friends with anything I write here. I am truly sorry because life has offered enough grief and/or bad feelings to all of us.

I view my writing seriously, and I don't want to give anybody a false impression that I have all the answers or know the only version of the truth. I don't.

I love my family...all of it...I hope they love me for who I am, too....someone who must write.

Answered Prayers

Wow, did it rain yesterday. As my Texan mother-in-law would say, "it was a toad-strangler!" Niagra Falls moved south to Whitfield....for about an hour. This rain event happened while we were sitting down to dinner, at the rush hour for most folks.

Unfortunately, Route 12 (the bypass, in local jargon...as opposed to Route 222, the Road to Nowhere, which now goes somewhere) flooded. According to the Reading Eagle, this has never happened before. One of the major arteries of Berks County, an impassable Route 12 created quite a difficulty for many people. Another road very close to my home, State Hill Road, was also closed due to flooding. So much for going to the Berkshire Mall!

Having observed daily jungle torrents in the Amazon, and 1972's Hurricane Agnes in Wyoming Valley, I have to say that the precipitation yesterday was among the heaviest I have seen. It wasn't the longest, though. We can be thankful for that small miracle yesterday.

Not to be too picky, but what we really need is a long lasting, soft rain for our gardens. I hope the heavy humidity and heat holds off, too. That's for me, though, not the garden....

Tomato Plant Update

It appears as if there is one tiny shoot coming out of the tomato stump. Let's pray for His Plant! I'll keep you posted. Tony also brought home a cucumber yesterday that he also grew. I planted it yesterday after school. Sheesh, I hope it didn't drown.

"All good things around us are sent by Heaven above."

Tony's Tomato Plant

My son started a tomato plant from a seed at school earlier this spring. It grew into a strong young tomato plant. He brought it home a little before Mother's Day and kept it in his bedroom window, babying it along carefully. It was about eight or nine inches high and Tony was quite proud of his success. He decided it was time to put it outside, complete with a popsicle stick inscribed with "Tony" to indicate that this was His Plant.

When he first put it outside, he stuck it in a mulched area, too close to the lawn. I explained that this wasn't a choice spot, and pointed out the garden spot for the tomatoes. We moved His Plant to the better spot and waited to watch it grow even bigger. I got two more tomato plants and planted them nearby. I planted marigolds on the edge of the garden, too, because they keep the bunnies away from the tomatoes.

I looked at the plants the other day, and decided that they didn't need their tomato cages yet. I think tomato cages are a great invention, but they look so ugly to me. Using poles and tying the tomatoes up is more work, though, so I guess I'll stick with the cages for a bit.

Two days ago, I went out to check on the weed to plant ratio. Proudly, I looked at His Plant, hoping it grew an inch or two. His Plant had been vandalized! Where His Plant had stood, there was only a tomato stump and a slightly bewildered popsicle stick. The other two smaller tomato plants were fine. I don't think I've ever been so upset about the demise of a tomato plant. The bunnies probably had nothing to do with it. I figure that maybe it was a thirsty bird.

We'll be replacing the tomato plant this weekend, but it won't be His Plant. It'll probably be the Greenhouse Plant.

I'm happy to report that the peas and beans that Tony also planted are still intact, but there's no popsicle stick planted there that says "Tony."

Divorce Season

Well, it appears as if the divorce season has arrived upon us once again. I am in no way belittling the process, or the folks who must endure it. I'm simply commenting on how divorces seem to happen in bunches every year.

I've discussed the neighborhood here before, and I'm not about to divulge too much of anybody's personal information, so don't worry.

I saw these divorces coming from a long way away. Some marriages are both long term ones...one of them is twenty years long. People divulge the most private pieces of information to their friends and neighbors, so it's pretty easy to ascertain parts of the future if you listen carefully.

Some divorces are loud. One couple has two children and works opposite shifts, not an uncommon situation. In the morning, mom stands outside the house, almost in the street, YELLING ...not at the man she is angry with, but at their children. It's embarrassing. The poor kids. The dad is pretty much bumbling along. They live next to the dad's parents. I wonder how much their location had to do with the outcome of their marriage. Sometimes Everybody Loves Raymond doesn't work out so well in real life.

Another lady, her children grown, hired 1-800-Got-Junk to come and take all of His Things away. What bugs me about this is that the guy is blind...sometimes he retreats to his parents local home when things get rough. I wonder if he knows his stuff has been taken away? It's not like you can call the dump and say, oops...can I have that stuff back? This couple screams a lot and drinks a lot and fools around on each other a lot. They must think they are in Hollywood, when, in actuality, they are in Holly-Woe.

Some marriages dissolve more quietly, with ennui and desperation and fear. These are the ones that you are truly sad about when you hear about the problem. These are the folks who try to work it out, sometimes seeing counselors and actually trying to work on the relationship. Usually, these people respect each other a little too late. When children are involved, they come together civilly in the child's interest. Family and God play a role in the dissolution of this marriage because both of these concerns are considered carefully.

Some divorces just hang there and never happen. Strange. I find it odd to watch a married couple live apart...with live-in boyfriends and girlfriends who can be married to yet other people. How can you trust people like that? What kind of message is being sent to kids and society? Why get married in the first place if you don't honor your word? Maybe I just prefer the order of knowing what somebody's status is...get divorced, then engaged, then married...straighten out the mess you've created. Fear must rule these folks' lives...fear of the spouse, fear of the new relationship, fear of the finances, fear of who knows what else.

For better, for worse...