tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253840522024-03-13T19:34:12.302+00:00Shakin' The TreeReading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.comBlogger124125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1165518015650923042006-12-07T18:51:00.000+00:002006-12-07T19:00:16.083+00:00IfNo, I'm not talking about the old Bread song: <em>if a picture paints a thousand words/then why can't I paint you?</em> Eeek...did I used to listen to that stuff? <br /><br />If you had the opportunity to create a scholarship fund, what type of person would be the recipient? Who would you name the fund after? What kind of qualifications would you require? Would you decide it could only be used for a certain school or age group? How would you choose the recipient? <br /><br />Consider, of course, that everyone you know and love already has been given the gift of education.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1165365850521118602006-12-06T00:29:00.000+00:002006-12-06T00:44:10.536+00:00Shopper MadnessTony wanted to buy a Christmas present today at a Berks County store that shall not be named. I didn't really want to go with him because he was buying a digital camera which is always a long ordeal.<br /><br />After forty-five minutes, I finished my shopping at three other stores and went back to retrieve him. He still did not have his desired camera in his hands.<br /><br />Finally, a reluctant young salesperson found the camera Tony wanted. Then, without a word, he high-tailed it back to a counter to sort some papers. We had to wait in a long cash register line....<br /><br />We got to the payment point and encountered reluctant young salesperson number two. No, he couldn't look up my teacher discount card, no he couldn't put a rebate check for his store towards the camera, no the camera was not eligible for the sale because it cost forty dollars less than the required amount, no our 10% off coupon could not be applied to our camera because it was considered a "technology item" and technology items were excluded...<br /><br />I told Tony that maybe if he bought fifty bucks worth of ink pens he might be able to use his coupon if, and only if, he was a good boy all year. The cashier didn't even look up or offer a grin. He rigidly handed Tony yet another coupon for five dollars off his next item...with a credit card sized bit of print listing the exclusions on the back that even young eyes can't read. Maybe next time they'll give him an invisible coupon to save time!<br /><br />As we left the store I recalled that earlier this month a man was arrested at the store because he was complaining into his cell phone that he wanted to blow the place up or use a gun or something. Wow...somebody got their attention that day...The salespeople probably got the rest of the day off...oh wait...I mean they must have took the rest of the day off while they were at work. Sheesh. I really felt a lot of sympathy for that arrested guy after my experience. I wondered who would hire salespeople with zero personality and work ethic.<br /><br />You couldn't drag me back into that store. I predict its early demise.<br /><br /> <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Walking Garbage Can" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_136.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb113_ZNxmk762YYUS&utm_id=7921" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb113&pp=ZNxmk762YYUS" border="0" /></a>Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1165265490215403072006-12-04T20:29:00.000+00:002006-12-04T20:53:56.566+00:00Grandma's TableclothsDecember is when I often finds "gifts" for myself put away in boxes that I forgot about. Today, I forgot that I put the garland in with the artificial tree in its box. After tearing through several boxes of Christmas stuff and miscellaneous what-the-heck-is-in-there boxes, I finally remembered where the garland beads were...During my garland search, I found a box with some stuff in it from when we cleaned out Grandma's apartment.<br /><br />I had to smile as I went through the stuff in that box. There were the napkins that matched the daisy tablecloth. There were some cool, but simple embroidered pieces. There, too, was the old-fashioned knife sharpener that is now put away in my kitchen. Somehow, one of those TV cook and drain pasta pots that Tony got for me got in this particular box too.<br /><br />Then I came across them. Two cloth Christmas tablecloths from many Christmases.... and many Christmases ago....not a spot on them. I distinctly remember spilling gravy on one of them. Somehow Grandma got it out and put it away sparklin' clean, ready for a next Christmas that hasn't come yet. These two tablecloths would be easily labeled "vintage' on ebay with no problem.<br /><br />These tablecloths are not stylish or trendy or made of something special from Somewhere Special. They're simple, heartwarming, and clean. They're salt of the earth Wyoming Valley Christmas through and through.<br /><br />We used these tablecloths the holiday season after our house burnt down, and after Michael died. We brought out these tablecloths the first time Ann brought Jimmy home for Christmas and when Auntie Helen helped "watch the store." Those tablecloths were present when Grandma wrapped up the ham bone and put it in the freezer, and threw the ham bone from the previous Christmas away: a bizarre ritual that Grandpa joked about. Those tablecloths were probably there when I was brought "home" after we came back from New Mexico. The tablecloths were there when Carol lived there, and they were there when she brought Jan to visit. Tally and Bootsie ate crumbs under the table under those tablecloths.<br /><br />Gosh, if only tablecloths could talk, could whisper the times past into my ears, to repeat the sounds of loved ones' voices, to remember the happy and sad times.<br /><br />Oh, wait.<br /><br />These tablecloths do that.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Christmas Snow" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_2_78v.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb096_ZNxmk762YYUS&utm_id=7924" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb096&pp=ZNxmk762YYUS" border="0" /></a>Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1165068731278693562006-12-02T13:51:00.000+00:002006-12-02T14:12:11.416+00:00Well, NowI promised a few months ago to tell you of a possible reunion story and now have an update.<br /><br />I found Colin's daughter one day while surfin' the net. After contact and fact-checking between Joan and Sammie (the daughter), we confirmed the actual relationship. This was enough to wow us over and over again. As Joan and I got to know Sammie, we became emotionally involved in that we didn't want her to be hurt by a second fatherly rejection.<br /><br />Urged on by Sammie, Joan contacted Colin with the only e-mail address we knew. There was no certainty that he would see the message, let alone respond. As usual with a Colin Contact Effort, he did not answer for a few weeks, or was it more than a month? Both Joan and I expected a wrathful angry "HOW DARE YOU?" kind of response, if any were given.<br /><br />Luckily, we did get a response, and even luckier, it was a positive one. Now the ball is in Sammie's court. She lives in Kent, and, with any luck, Colin is somewhere in the UK. I am daring to breathe some hope that there will be contact.<br /><br />Perhaps Colin will glory in the fact that he has grandchildren and a beautiful daughter. Perhaps he will finally understand that he truly is a person worth loving, despite his fears and his past. Perhaps this little family will bring out the best in him. I know it's in there. <br /><br />Some things are just meant to be. Some things are affected by our choices. Sometimes, God puts His muscle into our lives through grace. Guess what?<br /><br />Joan's mom's name is Grace. This can be her miracle.<br /><br />If you remember, before you go to sleep tonight, say a little prayer for a miracle for Sammie and Colin.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1164728690692223952006-11-28T15:22:00.001+00:002006-11-28T15:44:51.090+00:00PlacesSome places just feel different. Many people don't like to visit hospitals or people in them. I can understand how funeral homes and cemetaries feel different than other places. Chuckie Cheese can be paradise or hell depending on how the consumer feels entering this wonderland.<br /><br />When I say that some places feel different, I am referencing something a bit out of the ordinary. The place gives you a <em>strong </em>and unusual feeling that you don't really expect. For example, I got a strong sensation of sadness the moment I entered Graceland's foyer. I haven't been able to explain the meaning behind it, but it was as if a blanket of someone else's feelings wrapped itself around me. I got a similar, but not as strong feeling, one time when we were looking to buy a house. Again, it happened the moment I entered the door. Later, I learned that the couple who lived there were splitting up, but I don't think that was the reason for the sad feeling. It seemed to come from something else. What? I dunno.<br /><br />Walking around Stonehenge one January day gave me a feeling that some important type of ceremonial happened there. Well, duh...you might say. But it gave me a regal, but scary sensation. It felt like I was walking on some kind of revered place and it was okay that I was there. Strange, though. When I visited Cancun I climbed INSIDE a Mayan pyramid to see a treasured jaguar statue. We made our way up a crowded tiny stairway in the dark. I'm sure my claustrophobia was working that day because I could hardly breathe. As soon as I got to the tiny spot where the statue was, I had to run away. The overwhelming feeling of some kind of violence or hatred broke through my claustrophobia and sent me flying back down the crowded stairs. You can bet I won't go there again.<br /><br />Am I weird or what? Has this kind of thing ever happened to you?<br /><br />I remember talking with someone who visited the Holy Land and spoke of how he felt he was walking inches off the ground at some of the holy places. I'm sure this is why people go on pilgimages, but that seems to be centered on their faith, not some gut feeling when you walk into a room.<br /><br />As my husband complains of every so often, I enjoy visiting writers' homes. After I drag him through a few, he has enough. I can't get enough, especially if the place has period furnishings. Perhaps I like the feeling of kinship, or maybe I'm just hoping that something will rub off on me.<br /><br />Strange, isn't it?Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1164645932853598962006-11-27T16:34:00.000+00:002006-11-27T16:45:32.853+00:00Monday MusingsWell, I knew that my emotions were in for a rough ride this holiday break. I am thankful for everyone's thoughts and prayers.<br /><br />Our Emma perhaps put it best after her Nana's Anniversary Mass: "I wasn't ready for Nana to go."<br /><br />Neither was I, Emma. Neither was I.<br /><br />I want to especially thank Cindy, Tom, Marilyn, Stan, Joe, my husband and children for supporting my sister and I, and of course, my Dad, through this emotional experience of a one year anniversary. I am so blessed that they are in my life.<br /><br />Love never ends, you know. It might change a bit, but it never ends. <br /><br />We all went to Norm's to eat after Mass. They have great Sicilian pizza if you are interested. <br />********************<br /><br />I want to write a story about the Mintz/Calderoni Mary Statue. John, if you are reading this, we have to get together at your sister's place soon.<br /><br />********************<br /><br />I also have been wrestling with an idea about "Time-Turners" right before I go to sleep. I'm writing this idea down here so I don't forget about it.<br /><br />Gotta get back to grading papers. Over and out.....Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1164115277018629162006-11-21T13:06:00.000+00:002006-11-21T13:21:19.890+00:00FlushingWell, it's officially Thanksgiving Break. Dreams of Macy's balloons, drumsticks, and a ride on I78 are floating about our heads. Thank you for Thanksgiving.<br /><br />The girls and I went to see Flushed Away and enjoyed the film quite a bit. Emma makes a sound exactly like the cutie-wootie slugs in the film. She entertained us all the way home. If you get a chance to catch this fun movie, please do. I haven't enjoyed a CG movie more than this one.<br /><br />Many movie critics are complaining that there are too many animations on the screens now. The movie profits are up, and they are complaining? Interesting. I like to read reviews, but I often take them with a grain of salt. <br /><br />Dare I say that I despise many of the story lines in many popular movies? If I can guess what's going to happen next, why should I pay to see it? If I retch from the gruesomeness, I refuse to pay. If the piece is just a bunch of car chases and bedroom scenes...heck, I live in Reading, man. I don't need to pay to see that 'cause I can just turn on the TV or go to the mall and see it!<br /><br />Sometimes I like movies that make me think, or transport me to another time or place, or make me laugh...really laugh. Make some more of those. Make some more movies that my kids and I will both enjoy. <br /><br />*******************<br /><br />Please keep Tony's cousin George in your prayers. He suffered injuries in a car accident and may take several months to recover. Also please pray for Adam's friend's fifteen year old son who has life-threatening cancer. <br /><br />********************<br /><br />Thank you, Lord, for all the good things around us. Protect us from the bad ones.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1163874559644278642006-11-18T18:28:00.000+00:002006-11-18T18:43:42.743+00:00Is It Thanksgiving Break Yet?After Monday, I'll have a little time off for Thanksgiving. THANK YOU!!!!!<br /><br />I have so many things to do right now, I find myself forgetting all sorts of mundane things that I don't normally forget. I told my 8 am class I must've left their corrected papers somewhere else, and guess what? I HAD THEM WITH ME! I tried to call my in-laws and I called Stan. I guess I'm just off my groove a bit. Some yummy roast turkey and a day or two without driving to school sounds like the antidote.<br /><br />Yesterday, we went to a Boy Scout Pack Meeting. Sorry, but I don't really enjoy Boy Scouting. The leader needed to speak to "the parents" while the boys watched a movie. He lectured us about all the things he wanted the pack to participate in. He handed out a list that included activities at least two weekends a month for several hours at a shot. He lamented about how no one was interested in skiing. Then...here's the kicker, folks. The leader said that we all needed to volunteer more, and that he needed us to take over the running of one of these many activities. Hello? This guy just announced that he'd like the boys to sing Christmas Carols on BCTV on Dec. 20! Nobody wanted to do it, but he cajoled the kids and parents. Now he wants somebody who doesn't want to do this activity to "step up" and run it.<br /><br />My eyes involuntarily rolled during this evening. I've been trying to stop that because it is so rude. Why do control people feel the need to tell me what family activities I "need" to choose to do? My son likes to "hang out" with his Boy Scout buddies. Does this mean that B.S.A. runs my life? Sorry, pal, but the answer is a loud, resounding, eye-rolling NO!<br /><br />Whew, that felt good. Thanks for listening to my rant. I have three kids in different activities, so I needed to vent.<br /><br />Elena marched in the Reading Holiday parade today. Emma and I enjoyed watching it. Tony and Tony are...you guessed it...with the Boy Scouts at the Jesuit Novitiate marching around. Now the girls and I are hanging out at home, getting ready to go see "Flushed Away" for some comedy relief. <br /><br />Keep smilin'. Five more days to Turkey Day. Yahoo!Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1163529505001182462006-11-14T18:20:00.000+00:002006-11-14T18:38:25.226+00:00Hot Anger and Cold AngerHey, Angry People. Did you know that anger can be bad for you? No surprise, I suppose. A recent study has shown that one is more at risk for a heart attack or stroke or any other number of serious health problems for up to two hours after an angry outburst. I'm guessing that this doesn't mean when you raise your voice a little. I'm talking about a flat-out "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" rampage of at least a few minutes or more.<br /><br />Some people are more predisposed to anger than others. These are the people who really need to watch it, as the more outbursts you have the greater risk to your health...seventeen times greater, as a matter of fact. Wow. <br /><br />Yeah, we should be angry about injustices in our time, but having a fit about it doesn't help anybody. Auntie Helen always used to remind us that "you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." She was right.<br /><br />These kind of outbursts are called hot anger. Cold anger is another thing altogether.<br /><br />All anger comes out of not being able to control a situation or be in control of a situation. Cold anger is more of a passive-aggressive form of an angry outburst. Cold anger is when you refuse to speak to anyone for a day or even the rest of a lifetime. Cold anger is all about your inability to forgive.<br /><br />Cold anger probably eats away at your soul or mind for a much longer period than hot anger. It can be just as damaging to your physical and mental health. The only thing we really can choose to do in this life is to forgive others and hope for forgiveness from others.<br /><br />How many families won't have a relaxing holiday because of both of these types of anger? How many people will be subjected to hot and cold anger just today....or just this hour or minute?<br /><br />A wise person told me that when you make a mistake or discover what you did got someone upset, apologize. Apologize once. You don't have to spend the rest of your life apologizing. Sometimes people are not willing to forgive. Forgetting is another matter than forgiving, too.<br /><br />Learning how to deal with anger, both yours and another's, might be a great area to explore. Think about it. <br /> <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Screamer" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_103.gif" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Hot Head" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_101.gif" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Sinister" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_105.gif" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="No No No" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_109v.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb114_ZNxmk762YYUS&utm_id=7922" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb114&pp=ZNxmk762YYUS" border="0" /></a>Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1163444343498342382006-11-13T18:42:00.000+00:002006-11-13T18:59:04.436+00:00Cruisin' For A Bruisin'Okay, Okay...I admit it. I read <em>The National Enquirer</em> now and again as a guilty pleasure. I grew up reading copies hanging around my house or relatives' houses, so maybe I'm trying to recapture my youth...I dunno. Do I truly truly care about celebrities more than other people? No. I just like to think they deserve the harassment in some cases.<br /><br />It would be great to use fame to inspire or teach, to do some good in the world. Unfortunately, not too many famous people believe that is part of the agenda they call their lives. I know many un-famous people who inspire me greatly. You probably don't know them, but these people could be sitting next to you.<br /><br />That brings me to poor, mixed-up Tom Cruise. I won't even harp on the fact that he left a seminary and ended up believing in some kind of science fiction movie as a higher power. I think it would be petty to mention the lifts he wore in his shoes. Couch-jumping isn't one of my favorite spectator sports, so we won't touch on that.<br /><br />I enjoyed <em>Top Gun </em>and despised his version of <em>War of the Worlds</em>. His need to control everything within his reach puzzles me. I hope that his children will be able to cope with this aspect of his personality.<br /><br />Now...onto the wedding...I can't help but wonder if it's all real. A fairy tale Italian castle notwithstanding, I have to point out that a wedding needs to be between two EQUALS. I'm afraid Cruise's intended is a bit too brainwashed right now to make a healthy choice. I want to be like that robot in <em>Lost in Space</em> that runs around yelling "Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!" Oh, wait...her parents have already done that. Sheesh.<br /><br />I'm sure that we will be entertained with wedding details soon by the ever-alert media. (Psssst! Wanna know a secret? We don't care anymore. We're sick of the antics and gimmicks and gimmes.)<br /><br />Now, excuse me. There's an inspirational story outside the window. Gotta go.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1163375546654689642006-11-12T23:44:00.000+00:002006-11-12T23:52:26.656+00:00When Was the Last Time You.....When was the last time you<br /><br />danced just for the heck of it?<br /><br />smiled at the red sky at morning?<br /><br />waved at a baby in a shopping cart?<br /><br />read a good book?<br /><br />jumped in a pile of leaves or snow?<br /><br />stepped in a pile of ....you know....?<br /><br />ate with your fingers?<br /><br />thanked a doctor, nurse, teacher, priest, rabbi, soldier, policeman?<br /><br />sang without the car radio?<br /><br />made an animal friend?<br /><br />helped someone across the street?<br /><br />held your tongue when you really really really wanted to say something?<br /><br />gave a gift to somebody you didn't know?<br /><br />left a coupon in the store?<br /><br />enjoyed a cuppa (tea, coffee, hot chocolate) in front of a fire?<br /><br />played with your kids?<br /><br />hoped for the best?<br /><br />If you didn't do any of these things in the past week, what HAVE you been doing?<br /><br />Just curious....Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1163251816272743832006-11-11T13:06:00.000+00:002006-11-11T13:30:24.876+00:00Grandmother's GiftBefore I was born, my father's mother died at the age of 28. He was an only child and undoubtedly close to his mom. He obviously was the apple of her eye--she even entered him in a beautiful baby contest! (I know this because of a copy of the application was found not too long ago.)<br /><br />My grandmother's beauty is remarkable and quite clear in the many photos of her. From what I've heard over the years about her personality, that was quite beautiful, too. I know that my life would have been very different if she was alive when I was born, but that was not meant to be.<br /><br />I share my first name with my grandmother. What's interesting is that she CHOSE her name. She was born with the name Mary or Marianne, with the middle name of Branislawa, which I think is quite striking. I guess this wasn't American enough for her, so she became known as Mamie or Marie. Her vibrancy comes through in her name choices and the stories left behind.<br /><br />By the time she met my grandfather, both of her parents were deceased and one of her older sisters was named as her guardian. I know this because of the copy of my grandparents' marriage application I found at the Luzerne County Courthouse. If you think life seems short now, think about how it was early in the twentieth century...much much shorter.<br /><br />My grandfather's sisters, Helen and Josephine, adored Marie and they were fast and true friends. Her generous spirit, ready laugh, and passion for life charmed them all. Marie's sister soon became ill with the scourge of the time: tuberculosis. Marie cared for her through her illness, and sadly contracted the disease herself. My father, although he didn't totally "catch" it, still tests positive for tuberculosis. Her love for him probably saved his life; I can't imagine why he didn't succumb from the illness, other than she protected him.<br /><br />The journey of Marie's illness will be left for another time. My grandfather's grief over her death will also be left for another time. <br /><br />Marie gave what little jewelry she had to Helen and Josephine, with a promise to pass on to her grandchildren, if she had any. These two sweet women kept that promise...and more. They passed on her memory, her spirit, her story, her legend. All of these I hold in my heart, and pass on daily to many others, especially my children.<br /><br />According to my definition of a saint, my grandmother is a saint. She lives on through my children. There is no greater tribute than that. There is nothing sweeter than that.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1163083276311119322006-11-09T14:25:00.000+00:002006-11-09T14:41:16.576+00:00Do You Hear That?I can feel my ears relaxing...do you hear that? That's right! My phone isn't ringing, my TV isn't yelling, my mailperson's load is lighter, the newspaper is a bit thinner, the signs are disappearing. Could it be? Yes, it is...the end of the election.<br /><br />It's interesting to observe elections year to year. This year was more annoying than interesting. Who knows? Maybe I'm just getting older and less patient. <br /><br />I'm always glad when different parties have little pieces of the power to govern. That kind of situation makes the economy better for the middle class because sheer numbers of opinions need to be considered.<br />**************<br />Helicopter Parents<br /><br />I read an article in the Reading Eagle yesterday that once again bemoans Baby Boomer parents. It seems that some parents are contacting children's employers during the interview or performance review process. EGADS!! I'd be SOO embarassed if that happened to me. My theory here is that these parents are the "children" of the sixties, where shouting loud was considered a good thing. Now these same people feel the need to carry on this grand tradition by taking over their children's lives. <br /><br />This kind of action is training kids to be passive. That is not a good option.<br /><br />At the same time, though, I have to say that maybe my theory is wrong. Maybe these parents are simply "enablers" and there are such people in every generation. I know people in their thirties and forties who have mom do the shopping for them, or buy all the food/drinks for parties at the kid's house. Other people financially drain their parents or grandparents and that's still not enough for their dreams.<br /><br />That's not good, either. Children do need support from their parents throughout their lives. Don't create a monster that always yells "Feed me" at every turn...whether that feeding is emotional, financial, material or whatever.<br /><br />Emma puts it best....she must have heard it somewhere in her six year old travels...."Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home." She picks up the darndest sayings. Six going on thirty....<br /><br />Enjoy your piece of the silence today.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1163013219096146722006-11-08T18:51:00.000+00:002006-11-08T19:13:39.276+00:00Thinking About ThanksOn November 23, Thanksgiving Day, I'll be one year without my mom. It's hard to believe that the time has passed so quickly. I am still working through the grieving process.<br /><br />Every year at the anniversary of my brother's death, I donate a book he would have liked to the library at St. Ignatius Loyola, where my kids go to school. It keeps him alive for me, when I worry that I can't remember how his voice sounds. Sometimes I donate books in the name of other folks who have passed on, too. These donations are joyous ones...What I mean is that to be able to do this brings me great joy. Kids (and sometimes adults) get to read a cool book, and I get to remember the people I love who are no longer here with me.<br /><br />I haven't done that yet for Mom. Why? I don't think I can do it without still grieving. I don't think I can hand the book to the librarian with a smile on my face instead of tears in my eyes.<br /><br />My kids have come up with a different, but time-revered way to remember their beloved Nana. They light a candle for her almost every Sunday at church. Sometimes they'll add a small request to their prayer before meals (God, please keep Nana safe with you in heaven. Tell her I said hi and I miss her.)<br /><br />I know a family who keeps a lit candle on the table at every holiday, signalling a loved one who has passed on. Another family participates in special "walks" to raise money in a loved one's name. Almost every day, I see memorial notices in the newspaper. Someone in my neighborhood planted a memorial tree, another a rose bush. Somebody else cut a tree down and saved the wood to burn in the fireplace.<br /><br />People leave items in caskets or on tombstones. Cups of coffee, cigarettes, balloons, chess sets, leather jackets...you name it, it's probably been used as a memorial somewhere.<br /><br />Right now, I pray for Mom, but mostly I still miss her...a lot. Maybe at Thanksgiving I'll set an extra place and put one of the drumsticks on the plate...or I'll pass out CowTales Candies or burn a scented candle. That'll be one step in the right direction of grief.<br /><br />Grief is no stranger to me, as I've been through more than enough traumas and dramas. I'll find a joyous place within this grief someday, but not real soon. I can't seem to say good-bye or even see ya later.<br /><br />We're having a memorial Mass for Mom the Saturday after Thanksgiving at Holy Trinity in Wilkes-Barre. Mass starts at four. I'd love to see some familiar, friendly faces there. Wherever you are celebrating your Thanksgiving holiday this year, try to remember Mom in a prayer, and I'll be grateful.<br /> <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Nap Turkey" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_5_19.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb095_ZNxmk762YYUS&utm_id=7923" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb095&pp=ZNxmk762YYUS" border="0" /></a>Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1162918783722741472006-11-07T16:43:00.000+00:002006-11-07T16:59:56.823+00:00Robocalls and Other Such NonsenseAm I the only person who despises these taped announcements from candidates? I think not.<br /><br />I don't like stopping what I'm doing and running for a phone when I am helping the kids with homework, grading papers, watching a TV program I haven't TIVOed, or taking a shower. The past few days I know that when my Caller ID says the call is from Wyoming, that I don't need to answer it in a hurry. Problem is, that call is then transferred to my answering machine, which I must erase.<br /><br />Awful convenient that these calls are considered exempt from the do-not-call provisions...<br /><br />How about those well-meaning folks who volunteer their time to support candidates outside of polling places? They hand me more campaign advertisements, as if I haven't seen or heard enough already, as I walk in the door. I just throw the things in the convenient trash can inside the door, along with everybody else's discarded advertisements. Tony approaches this differently. The candidates that he supports get their cards handed back to them, and the candidates he doesn't support get their cards trashed. Yikes...what a waste of time and effort.<br /><br />If I were a candidate and I could afford it, I'd print my stuff on packets of oatmeal. At least I could lower some cholesterol or feed some birds that way. Yeah, I know some candidates use emory boards, pencils, pads or balloons, but oatmeal is so practical! If you are really concerned about your constituents, why not consider their overall health?<br /><br />Maybe robocalls could be used to help folks too. For example, the phone could ring when a pollster comes to the door. Or maybe some tape machine in Wyoming could remind me to lock the door or fill the car with gas or get apples at the Giant. The calls could keep my animals from feeling lonely without human voices when I am at work. "Hello, Eliot, Lucky, and D.V. This is Blah Blah and I'm running for PA Governor. Are you good boys? The kids'll be home soon, so enjoy your peace and quiet...Oh, and have a nice day."<br /><br />Ah, yes, it's election day. <br /><br />Happy Birthday to my sister! Don't work too hard today, dear....and keep smilin'. <br /> <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Birthday Surprise Party" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/13/13_10_8.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb097_ZNxmk762YYUS&utm_id=7925" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb097&pp=ZNxmk762YYUS" border="0" /></a>Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1162846655449981872006-11-06T20:43:00.000+00:002006-11-06T20:57:35.883+00:00Jury DutyI fulfilled my civic duty today and reported for jury duty. Luckily, we were dismissed before lunch, as the defendant opted for a bench trial rather than a jury trial...thanks, whoever you are.<br /><br />While waiting in the Jury Assembly Room we were subjected to a few hours of Fox News...most about the upcoming election tomorrow. One man actually said something like, "No wonder he said his party is ahead in the polls...if I were in his position, I would say the same thing the day before an election." Ugh...I guess we've sunk this low. This guy (who shall remain nameless and partyless) actually admits not only that he thinks somebody else is lying (no news flash there), but that he would lie if he were in that position.<br /><br />I'm glad that some of the other potential jurors persuaded the staff to hit the off button on the TVs. We were all so sick of it after a while.<br /><br />I got home in time to take Emma out to our favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch. By now, her class should have received their report cards via the parental conferences. Emma also got to take a trip to the post office to mail her Aunt Helen's birthday presents. She dutifully told the postclerk that it was going to the Poconos and described Aunt Helen's birthday gifts and card. What a cutie! She even wished the package a good trip to Aunt Helen's house.<br /><br />Don't forget to vote tomorrow...and be an informed voter. It's our only chance. Reports from Fox News this morning indicate that although the economy is good, and unemployment percentages are low, the middle class is being squeezed by rising costs and inflation...DUH! The report continued that the economy is good if you are a major corporation or among the top 1% of wage earners. It reminded me of the situation before the Great Depression. The greedy ones at the top refused to allow a penny out of their tight grasps...then BOOM! Sigh. Doesn't anybody pay attention in history class?<br /><br />I usually enjoy election night coverage. I'm not so sure I'll watch this year. Too much blathering for me.....<br /><br />Well, enough for Civic Duty...I've got essays to grade, dinner to cook, and wrestling practice for two hours this evening. Ciao.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1162645676663254052006-11-04T12:55:00.000+00:002006-11-04T13:07:56.676+00:00Watching Fulton SheenSomehow, I ended up watching a segment of Sheen's show last night on TV. This black and white clip from the early fifties intrigued me. I wanted to see how much the world changed in fifty years. Sheen talked about building character. Two of his "rules" were to believe in the best in others and the worst in yourself. Interesting.<br /><br />I try to look for the best in others...I think we all do. Is this applicable today? For the saintly, yes. It is an admirable goal. Most of us are highly distrustful of "others" and often look for flaws that could easily rationalize our writing that person out of our lives. It's a self-defense mechanism in a world full of chaos. What Sheen had to say is applicable to our lives today in that we could use his character building rules in reference to people we know well. That seems safer somehow, doesn't it? For example, how about that cousin with the alcohol or drug problem....that person has good in him or her and you have a past relationship, possibly a good past relationship. You can't "write off" this person because of the problem, but you can enhance the good of the person in that person's presence and to other people.<br /><br />Looking for the worst in yourself is something all of us do every day. Many people can only see the worst in themselves. We are important in helping all of those around us to build character. Think of that the next time you hear some gossip about somebody. I don't want to hurt anyone who already hurts enough.<br /><br />Overall, I enjoyed the minutes spent with the earnest possible saint last night. He gave me a picture of how the world was and how the world is...Sure, I have to admit I snickered a bit as he lectured with his blackboard and his fancy vestments, but he won over my heart. He truly tried to help his audience and was/is an effective communicator. <br /><br />God bless Fulton J. Sheen. I am sure I witnessed a future saint in action.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1162493758931881042006-11-02T18:39:00.000+00:002006-11-02T18:55:59.676+00:00Saints and SoulsToday is my fifteenth wedding anniversary! I am grateful to have a partner in marriage like Tony. God sure blessed me the day I met him.<br />***************<br />Yesterday was All Saints Day and today is All Souls Day. I want to know if anybody up in heaven has seen a St. Catherine running about...or a St. Jack...or a Saint Michael or...well, you get the picture. Pray for All the souls and ask the saints to help!<br /><br />I wonder how one becames a saint...in heaven, I mean. I know there's very strict rules here and the process is a lengthy one. Do you think it's the same way in heaven? How many miracles are necessary and/or are miracles necessary? <br /><br />I remember reading somewhere about a woman who prayed for her deceased mother every day for seven years. She stopped praying after seven years because she figured her mother was now in heaven. How did she come to that number? Where did that idea come from? What happens to the prayers if the mother, say, gets to heaven after only four years? <br /><br />I dunno. I don't think anybody knows for sure, so I'll just keep praying and hoping that those prayers get applied properly. I'm sure there's an angel assigned to that very task. Just don't ask me which choir the angel is in....I'm confused enough about that as it is.<br /><br />****************<br />Emma is looking forward to Friday and Monday off from school. The first-graders' parents get report cards handed to them personally at pre-arranged conferences. Sheesh. I'm sending Tony to Emma's...I'll let you know how he does, as I'm sure Emma will have a stellar report card. Elena is participating in Decade Day at Holy Name today. She went to school wearing a poodle skirt. Tony Mickey is a tad disgruntled about the switch to the winter uniform this week. He doesn't like having to wear a tie. I'm hoping that someday the polo shirts would be allowed year round, especially with the trend toward casual dress in workplaces. Oh well, he looks cutie-wootie either way.<br />***********<br /> <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Turkey Shoot" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_5_2.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb113_ZNxmk762YYUS&utm_id=7921" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb113&pp=ZNxmk762YYUS" border="0" /></a>Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1162323679754834132006-10-31T19:24:00.000+00:002006-10-31T19:41:19.970+00:00"Millions" of ComplicationsOnce again, I used the film "Millions" in one of my classes. Although I've seen this film numerous times, today it had a strong personal effect. <br /><br />During the ending of this fabulous film, there is a scene between a young boy and his deceased mother. (Don't ask...just view the movie!) The mother tells him that she's okay and not to worry about her. He wants to know if she's a saint...and she tells him that she is because he is her miracle. (Again, view the movie...) She also tells him not to worry about her, but that it's okay to miss her. Then she talks about the boy's father's new girlfriend. She says something like..."You know how complicated the money is? Sometimes people are even more complicated than that." The little boy understands. Amazing. She also tells him to be kind to his brother, and that although it seems that he's okay with her death, he probably isn't. He's hiding it.<br /><br />(Those of you who know me will understand when I mention that the new girlfriend's name in the film is ironic to me personally. Funny, that.)<br /><br />This scene made me cry today. I mean it....I bawled in my car on the way home because it'll soon be one year since my mom's gone onward on her journey and I don't think I've grieved properly. Somehow it seems as if she's on vacation and she'll be back sometime soon.<br /><br />After my crying-in-the-car routine, I felt better. I made some progress in my grief dilemma. I also raided the trick or treat bowl and learned more about myself.<br /><br />****************<br /><br />Happy Halloween! For those who want to know...Elena is a witch with the coolest witch hat of purple and black with black feathers. The hat also has a veil with spiders embroidered on it. Her friends are meeting at our house this evening to begin their trick or treating gig. Tony is Darth Vader...again...but with a new costume that has lights on his chest that blink. Emma is a forest fairy and cute as can be. Her father told her that forest fairies skip and off she skipped to school. The crossing guard was quite amused. Yes, I'll be trooping around with the younger two this evening. I'll leave the bowl of Tootsie Rolls on the step, so stop by if you want any. BOO! <span contenteditable="false"> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0"><tbody><tr><td align="middle"><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/talking_preview.jhtml?i=F/0/215&partner=ZSzeb075_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Trick Or Treat!" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/F/0/215p.gif" border="0" /></a></td></tr><tr><td><a style="TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/talking_preview.jhtml?i=F/0/215&partner=ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img src="http://imgfarm.com/images/smileycentral/imbuddy/hear_me_talk.gif" border="0" /></a></td></tr></tbody></table></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb114_ZNxmk762YYUS&utm_id=7922" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb114&pp=ZNxmk762YYUS" border="0" /></a>Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1162236779856356022006-10-30T19:09:00.000+00:002006-10-30T19:33:00.033+00:00Mischief NightMischief Night, the night before Halloween Night, is an important adolescent rite of passage in coal country. First, not everybody participates in the actual mischief, so don't get all righteously indignant on me just yet. Kids used to soap car windows, mostly. Some of the tougher kids smashed pumpkins or pelted empty buildings with rocks. I didn't see an actual toilet-papered tree until I attended college in the Lehigh Valley. I did hear of some kids putting potatoes in exhaust pipes or sugar in gas tanks....maybe it was more legend than fact at the time. In the old days, I've heard that many outhouses got tipped or moved to weird places.<br /><br />Here in Berks County, I've noted that some kids smash car windshields, drive on lawns, throw eggs or corn, and of course, smash pumpkins. At times, tires are slashed or guns shot in the air. Spray paint is used often...along with vulgar language.Once in a while, somebody will take a for sale sign from a house for sale and put it in front of a house not for sale.<br /><br />Many of these acts do come under my definition of vandalism. I'm hoping that this year's pranksters don't do any damage or hurt anyone. I'd like to see some kind of new tradition started on Mishchief Night....maybe we could call it Do-gooders Night. Round up the Merry Pranksters and have them help at the soup kitchen or food pantry, or visit lonely people or animal shelters. <br /><br />Sounds too corny for you? Sounds too "safe" for our little rebels? Too Goody Two Shoes? Maybe...but what is more dangerous than a desperate soul? What is more dangerous than a person who doesn't care about others? What is more dangerous than a person who thinks somebody else will take care of "it"?<br /><br />I dunno.<br /><br /> <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Black Kitty" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_1_217.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb096_ZNxmk762YYUS&utm_id=7924" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb096&pp=ZNxmk762YYUS" border="0" /></a>Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1162145675471399742006-10-29T17:56:00.000+00:002006-10-29T18:14:42.643+00:00LaunchYesterday, Tony and I hooked up a DSL and created an e-mail account for Tony's parents. I'm thrilled for them and hope that they jump right in there and have some fun. <br />They have taken baby steps by getting a computer and printer and learning how to use them. Now the whole world is out there for them to explore. I am proud of them for learning something new.<br /><br />Everybody needs to learn something new. It keeps you sharp. It makes you less afraid.<br /><br />We are watching a new show on TLC. Well, actually, we're Tivoing it. It's called "The Monastery" and airs on Sunday nights at 10 p.m. After watching the premier episode, we are highly interested in seeing what happens next.<br /><br />It's kind of like a reality show, and kind of not....Five guys go to a Benedictine Monastery in the desert of Northern New Mexico to live with thirty monks for forty days. These guys are interesting...one is a recovering alcoholic addict, one an Iraq veteran with a prosthesis and an attitude, another a paramedic, fourth one a former Satanist now an Episcopalian, and finally, an ex-con turned counselor. I might have this wrong, but of the five it seems that three were Catholic at one time or another, one has no religious background, and another wants to become an Episcopalian priest.<br /><br />The premise of the show is to see who influences whom more. The monks are NOT there to convert these guys, but to help them find a way in their lives. <br /><br />It's not easy...They pray seven or eight times a day, getting up at 3:40 a.m. Silence is required in the refectory, the halls, and the chapel. Their rooms are really "cells" which means no visitors. Work is part of their daily routines as well. All of this occurs in a place with breathtaking scenery.<br /><br />I admire the men...all of them. The thirty monks who live this way, not for a week or forty days or even a year or two, but for their lifetimes. I admire the five guys who are attempting to explore their reason for existence, too. Their courage at leaving their lives behind for more than a month astounds me. This incredible journey is not like the usual reality show trainwreck-waiting-to-happen that we have come to expect. I'm waiting for God to work in their lives...or not. I'm watching to see a positive outcome, not who will be voted off next. <br /><br />Wow....no wonder it's on at 10 p.m. on a cable network. The public is not ready for it, I guess. I wish the participants well...and commend them for attempting to be better people.<br /><br />Amen.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1162039277119203642006-10-28T13:15:00.000+01:002006-10-28T13:42:33.483+01:00Changes and ChallengesI am facing a difficult crossroads at the moment. I've been wrestling with my MFA idea and wondering which path to take. Now it seems as if that whole idea is blown out of the water.<br />An advisor has filled me in on some realistic facts that I have to face. Creative Writing spots in universities are coveted positions, carefully guarded. One must have MANY published pieces in addition to the degree. The positions are not readily available, even with the number of people interested in such writing. Hmmmm....If I do get an MFA, I should work on it with the notion that I'm doing it for myself.<br />Deep breath.<br />Okay.<br />I don't leap anymore unless I commit, so this is very big information to me. Today, I am feeling my days as Professor Calderoni are numbered. Why? I am spinning my wheels, with no desire for a PhD. I tire of a system that won't give me a pension or advancement or the comfort of knowing I have a job next year. I told myself all these years that I'm doing it until the youngest child is old enough to go to school all day...well, that time is here.<br />I have contracts for next semester in my pocket. That's the extent of my obligation now. I'm going to explore my options and continue my writing.<br />**************<br />I wrote an acrostic set of poems around the stages of grief. (See Denial in an earlier post.) Tony and Joanie say that it is dark. I really don't see myself as a poet, but it sure is an effective way of creating a mood or working out strong emotions.<br />**************<br />Football cheerleading is ending, and wrestling is beginning. Tony Mickey had a takedown at his first practice. WAHOO! He weighs the same as last season, but he's much stronger and more flexible...must have been those swim practices. Best of all, he loves to wrestle, and his coach is outstanding. Coach Mike teaches the boys how to wrestle, be a gentleman, win, and lose...all with grace. He's a phenomenal role model of a Catholic man.<br />**************<br />Jar Jar, our Beta fish, went to the big aquarium in the sky last night. Tony and Tony had an official burial in the backyard. Tony3 put blue aquarium stones on the burial site. "Jar Jar was a good fish. He never gave anybody any trouble and he didn't smell." was Tony's eulogy. He even said an Our Father. Oh my.<br />Tony Mickey and I are thinking about getting Lucky a girl chinchilla to hang out with. Another oh my.<br />*************<br />Lots of thinkin' to do. I hope the Lord guides me to the right path.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1161462646114147092006-10-21T21:19:00.000+01:002006-10-21T21:30:46.186+01:00Raingutter Regatta RoyaltyWe had a much needed boost for two of our Tonys last night...well, I guess this story involves all three Tonys! Tonys 2 and 3 worked on a Cub Scout Derby boat for a few evenings this week. They painted and decorated and painted some more and came up with a pirate ship design. Last night, Tonys 1 and 3 attended the Pack meeting and were ready to roll...or should I say float? <br />Tony's boat's first test came against the members of his den...There was a tricky moment when Gage's boat fell to the side and blocked Tony's boat. Tony simply stopped his portable fan so that Gage's boat wouldn't go over the finish line first. Good thinking, Tony! Tony's happy little pirate boat sailed to first place for his den. Tony 1 said the excitement was great and so much fun. When Tony was winning the races, his Pop-Pop was right there, cheering him on.<br />Then Tony had to race against the other dens' winners. He progressed to the last race...and he won! He came in first place for the entire pack. Tony 1 said he was thrilled, especially when everybody was yelling "Tony! Tony! Tony!" Come to think of it, I don't think I ever saw the two of them so excited.<br />I told them that it must have been Green Pepper's Viking ancestry that had an influence on the win. I reasoned this because our Pinewood Derby cars and rockets always seem to lose parts in the midst of the action. Well, I guess the boat followed through a bit because some of its paint came off in the water!<br />Way to go, Tony, Tony and Tony! <a href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxmk762YYUS" target="_blank"><img alt="Pirate" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_22_27.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://smiley.smileycentral.com/download/index.jhtml?partner=ZSzeb098_ZNxmk762YYUS&utm_id=7926" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.smileycentral.com/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb098&pp=ZNxmk762YYUS" border="0" /></a>Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1161012257070450122006-10-16T16:23:00.000+01:002006-10-16T16:46:41.900+01:00Things HappenSome years ago, I had a wonderful friend named David. Tall, thin, blond, wildly intelligent, musical, serious. I met him in grad school; we became fast friends after I moved a couple blocks from him in Allentown. He was from a coal region town, called, appropriately enough, Coaldale. He drove an old VW bug.<br /><br />Things happen. His dad killed himself in their garage with a hose hooked up to a running car. Something about somebody else's money or other such nonsense. David was never the same. <br /><br />Soon he was living in Wildwood and teaching at Cape May Courthouse. He lived alone for a little while, keeping a bunch of finches in cages in his apartment. Sometimes he kept fish, too, and once showed me dried up seahorse that he retrieved from its tank after its demise.<br /><br />Things happen. David gave away many of his possessions, some to me. He talked about killing himself. I don't know if my words had any effect on him, living with his little creatures and dangerous thoughts. Afraid for him, I called again a few days later. No answer.<br /><br />Finally, I got through to a man who David had shared an apartment with and got the bad news that David drove past Reading into Lebanon, where he used to teach, and hanged himself in a friend's garage. The apartment I was living in on Oley Street had old windows that were almost impossible to move. At the exact moment the news came over the phone line, the window I stood nearest to came crashing down with a huge thunk. That's how my heart felt too.<br /><br />Things happen. Yesterday, my husband's uncle decided to also go this route. 84 years old and despondent, he also hanged himself. This man had everything money could buy and a terrific family who loved him dearly. Last week, at another funeral, he mentioned to his brother that he would be next. Nobody thought he would take his own life. <br /><br />I watched one of this man's brothers cry last night and heard of another taking it just as badly. My heart is broken again.<br /><br />Things happen. My cousin, a Vietnam Vet, a multiple Purple Heart winner, chose this route but put a gun to his mouth. A high school aquaintance did the same. A college friend drove into a tree on purpose.<br /><br />They leave the rest of us behind with survivors' guilt, with broken hearts, with stubborn "whys?" ringing in our heads. I have no answers but observe that sometimes we don't think properly because of stress, medication, illness, despair. I just ask that my friends who read this pray for these folks, and for all who suffer in this manner.<br /><br />Things happen.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25384052.post-1160679660233197752006-10-12T19:59:00.000+01:002006-10-12T20:01:00.250+01:00DenialDamn this twisted pattern of<br />Endings<br />Neither here nor there<br />Isolating my feelings in the<br />Attic of my heart,<br />Listless and shaken.Reading Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08361401949100901098noreply@blogger.com0